As teens we felt all we wanted was total independence. But if and when we did achieve some of it, things were difficult and lonely, and we were left feeling hollow. If you stop and think about it, most of what you do or how you do it, is to achieve dependence. We seem to have a desperate need to be needed. Whenever possible we try to be the center of someone’s dependence, so that we become very special and irreplaceable in their lives. Very often there is a trade of dependence between the two of you. This is why rearing children tends to be most rewarding. At times it may seem to be the most demanding and painful, especially when they declare they don’t need you any more, and they go off to seek their own independence. Let your children know they are needed, no matter what they may do. We need them for our happiness. But we must let them go with best wishes, so that they can discover their own "dependence". Being needed by someone is as important to our survival as food. Without it, we get depressed and tend to feel there is little reason to go on. Often, our own importance is just not enough. So find someone to need you, and let him or her know that they are needed for special reasons. It’s friendship, it's love!