The Art of Open Sensuality Page #26

Tips for the Men

Men, we are directing this next comment to you: "Be assertive"! That does not mean be pushy and rude, but also do not act as though you would rather be eating popcorn and watching Monday night Football instead of touching a beautiful woman offering herself to you and your woman, to be touched. Unless it is stated that the interaction is just 'for the ladies' the other woman involved will expect that you want to touch her and play with her as well. To hold back with some chivalrous attitude will most likely make her feel undesirable. If your wife and you have boundaries, then that will need to be discussed prior to any interactions. From there it would be assumed then that you both would follow the same sort of boundaries.

Keeping the connection going:
Unless you are very virile pile drivers (very rare); another issue you will run into is male performance, and making the woman feel she was not able to turn you on. This is not an issue you will hear much about in the lifestyle, but it is a very common issue. Without the little blue pill, many men will find it hard to get erect because of nervousness, the unfamiliar situation, worries, and visual distractions. Very few men could be a porn star.

Many encounters will end abruptly after the real fun begins. If you can get past this hurdle, there is the common issue of premature ejaculation, leading again to a lack of erection. You may find out it is all over before she had a chance to get your condom on (no joke). In many encounter you will find that your only option is to be a 'Softswinger'.

Tips for the Women

Now to the woman in the relationship; do not put upon your man a 'no touch rule' unless you are just arranging 'girl time' only and he is to be just the voyeur. You cannot expect that you are to be touched by the other woman and her husband, yet put a referendum on your man from touching the other woman. If you are not prepared for him to interact with her, don’t go into this type of open lifestyle. Also, these types of boundaries need to be clearly set up between the two couples, not just between you and your man.

You will most likely run into many issues of male performance. Try not to emasculate him by taking it personal. You are not likely to meet your champion in the lifestyle. You will be very lucky if he can perform half as well as your man normally does. If he is not able to perform or looses it early, you can always take your man back right then to have your fun, but this will most likely cause huge resentments later on, if not right then. Even if he seems to be cool with having his fun short circuited, your man will most likely not be able to perform with you as well in these situations, so it would have been for nothing. The night will be toast and you will never be able to face that couple ever again as well.

If you stick with the other man and try to have some other foreplay; there is a chance that tensions could dissolve and he could rediscover his manliness after a while.

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