The Art of Open Sensuality Page #20

The Fantasy of Finding that Single Bi-Female

Even if you do not fit in this category, you will encounter a lot of couples who are only looking to find a Bi-sexual female to play with. They seem to think there are attractive single Bi-females looking to play with an older couple, no strings attached. This is more a myth than a reality, but if you were to run across one of these living mythical creatures, you really think about it, you would probably do well to run, as they are very dangerous. They may come bearing terrible viruses and head games that are not so apparent. Life is simply not designed that simple. There are many reasons this is not a good idea.

If you do fit in this category, you will continue to be very frustrated if you cling to this fantasy. Anyone's fantasy person tends to not come with hang-ups, baggage, children, relatives, and long time friends who may serve as a great complication in all this, and blow the fantasy for you.

Other women, and even other couples are not to be seen as just play toys, discarded like a dirty tissue. Much more care and respect needs to be shown than is commonly displayed out there in this lifestyle. If you posses any healthy self-esteem, you are not likely to want to be treated this way, so why would you be so negligent and uncaring of others? You would not want to be played like that, so make the connection in your mind, and do not violate others like this. You should expect that these relationships will not be easy to have in your life. Just like with your primary relationship, you will have many an issue that you will be responsible to work out.

If this is you, don't feel too bad, as most couples in this lifestyle seem to share this fantasy, but we have yet to find a couple who have found much of any success with this narrow minded goal. When you get down to it, many couples with this Single Bi-female fantasy has a man who cannot handle seeing his lady with another man. But if she were to brings another female into their bed, he is cool with that. Simply speaking, the two of them are far from ready for this lifestyle, and should seek counseling. Try to develop a more realistic goal for the two of you, with a better sense of equality and balance.

Single Men
You will how ever find a plethora of males out there, actively seeking couples to play with. Some who are single, or some married men, looking to cheat with another couple, since there is no way to bring their wife into this double life. Few couples seem to want anything to do with these men, but they will come in hoards, pestering you for attention. A large reason couples will not have anything to do with these men, as I mentioned above, is that the husband’s issue with another man paying his wife such intimate attention. If your man cannot handle seeing you with another man, you two are probably not ready for this lifestyle. Fair is fair. You need not grant him any more privilege or understanding than he is able to grant you. If you do, this is likely to generate resentment in you, eventually.

We have been intimate with a few single men, but not one's we have met over the Net. We tend to get over a hundred IMs each month trying to get in her panties. It is far too over whelming to sort through and focus on any one of them. No one has the time to chat up all the guys out there that you are likely to encounter. It gets very old, very fast. You would do well to have a shortcut on your desktop to bring up a text file, so you can give a canned reply to these many pushy and seemingly ravenous guys. Especially when they have not taken the time to fill out their Yahoo profile. And in many cases have not take the time to even read your profile and ask the stupidest questions. It will save you a lot of time to be able to just send them your canned responses. Or you can just try to ignore them, but they may come back over and over again. They are a determined bunch.

This is one reason why we exclude all singles in our Yahoo Group. We do not want to discriminate between genders. Besides, Soft-swinging does not apply well to being with singles, as you have your mate to be with, and finish off your night, but they are left wanting. And even more importantly, if you try doing this separately, in any encounter with a single person, you are likely to get all worked up (if you are doing this the right way), and in the heat of the moment, you are both wanting to go all the way, what is to stop you? That is one reason why we only will play together, since the risk of staying within our set boundaries is much easier than if we were to play separately.

It is more complicated to find a good couple where you can all gel, but it is rewarding when it does come together. There is a good sense of balance with other couples.

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