"The Art of Open Sensuality"

A modern guide to careful
exploration of One's expanding
sexuality and sensuality
page #9 of 30

Written by: David & Tia
from October 2000 to February 2005

Your Boundaries and Comfort Levels

As you enter this alternative lifestyle, you may discover your comfort level through trial and error.  What your likes and dislikes are in this lifestyle is important to get a solid grasp on.  Some feel it is best to be rather detached to those you decide to play intimate with.  Where others realize they are not able to easily separate love and/or friendship with intimacy.  It is a very tricky balance to find, in contrast to your primary bond.  Step back and try to explore your feelings from time to time.  Regrets are the shits, and may cost you a lot more than an irritating itch for the rest of your life.  Also be mindful of your partner’s comfort levels too, as they are likely to change from time to time, without notice or apparent cause.  Who you are playing with can make a large difference as well.  Your partner may feel creeped out by those people, but try to stuff their feelings so you can have a good time.  That is still likely to go bad sooner or later.  Foster your partner’s assertiveness and use of their voice, as it will in the long run benefit you both.  If issues are not faced, they can get buried, and then explode at a later time.

Be very patient, and try not to go at this too fast.  That is why we made this web page and the Soft-swingers PDX Yahoo club, in order to suggest to other people who have decided to go this route in there life that they can do it with an informed point of view and be a little smarter about this, before it is too late.  It is not our aim to convert monogamous couples to join us in this lifestyle.